Hearts and Armour (1983)

The 1983 film Hearts and Armour is a sword-and-sandals style Italian film starring Barbara De Rossi, Tanya Roberts, Zeudi Araya Cristaldi, and Rick Edwards.

The film was praised for production values and costuming, but derided for a generally absent and confusing plot. It is said that the movie is so illogical and distracting because it was edited down into a film from footage for a planned TV miniseries.

Hearts and Armour (1983) Plot

Bradamante (played by Barbara De Rossi) owns a suit of armor which renders her invincible to attacks. A solo adventuress, she is riding around Europe during the crusades. She falls in love with a prince of the Moors named Ruggero (played by Ronn Moss), and Orlando, one of her knight companions (played by Rick Edwards) falls in love with a Moorish princess named Angelica (played by the decidedly non-Moorish looking Tanya Roberts). Others are angry at the inter-religious love affairs, so Ruggero is forced to fight in a duel to win back his love.

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Stu

When I was in high school I would actually sign up for junk mail. It didn’t matter what it was: newspapers, magazines, anything. I’d get at least three free newspapers every day that I would never read. I’d just collect them and store them in boxes. I loved getting junk mail. It made me feel…important.

And then a couple of years later I discovered aromatherapy and things got better for me.