Blood Diner (1987)

Blood Diner is a 1987 dark comedy and horror movie directed by Jackie Kong, written by Michael Sonye and starring John Barton Shields, Tanya Papanicolas, Rick Burks and LaNette LaFrance.

This is the sort of B-movie that ticks all the right boxes, a film to satisfy even the most promiscuous movie fan. You might be thinking “this sounds great, but is it crass?” Absolutely. “Moronic?” Without question. “Is it sufficiently low-budget?” Hey! You’ll have to cross your eyes to find it believable.

“Okay, but what about senseless gore and pointless nudity?” Hey, I wouldn’t bring it up if there weren’t.

Throw in a gun wielding psychopath sporting a Ronald Reagan mask, two weak-minded brothers juggling a vegan restaurant by day, ritualistic sacrifices by night and you’ve started to get a taste of Blood Diner.

So sit back, relax. Turn off the lights. Grab the popcorn. Refill your Lexapro. And enjoy the show.